If anyone out there in radio land is listening to this right now, heed my warning. IT's here. IT has invaded our land. IT could reproduce if we support and nourish IT. Am I speaking of some vile, hideous disease? Some horrible pestilence that threatens the international community? Yes. And IT's name is Pauley Shore.
Pauley's latest movie is called "Bio-Dome", and is without a doubt the biggest waste of celluloid I have ever witnessed. I mean, this movie is bad by any means of comparison, even in relation to other Pauley Shore movies!
So, what's "Bio-Dome" about? Oh, who the hell cares? After my last "Pauley" experience, "In the Army Now", I swore I'd never even look at the little weasel again. And yet, like the proverbial bad penny, he's popped up again, and I'm spending time talking to you about how awful he is. Haven't you people figured this out yet? Haven't you all discovered that movie studios can only insult your intelligence so many times before it's okay to scream "NO!" as loudly and as forcefully as is humanly possible? Oh, but excuse me. Maybe you like ninety minutes of vomiting and flatulence. And flatulence. And flatulence. Perhaps you enjoy seeing Stephen Baldwin play an even more annoying role than IT. Maybe you like seeing junior college bimbos throw themselves at IT's feet, thus perpetuating his line of demon spawn.
I know. This has been the plan from the very beginning, hasn't it? You've all been getting together in secret sinister groups and planning this haven't you? You're all trying to break me. Well, it won't work. I can take it. Yeah, give me more Pauley. Pauley in "Othello". Heh-Heh-Heh-Heh. Pauley in "Wuthering Heights". Hee-Hee-Hee-Hee. Pauley in.......... ..................."The Godfather"..............."Scent of a Woman".............."Raging Bull"............ "Sabrina"............
Copyright 1996 John A. Lavin
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