Okay, now, I'm not what a reasonable person would call a "prude". I mean, I really enjoy the finer things in life: a good episode of "The Fall Guy", Christopher Lambert movies, the collected works of William Shatner, and of course, bad, and hopefully bloody, slasher movies. But, come on, there's a limit! "Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers" is the kind of slasher movie that can turn one off from ever seeing another slasher movie again!
Now, we all remember good ol' Michael Myers. He was the mad serial killer who mercilessly stalked Jamie Lee Curtis in the only true classic of the slasher genre, the original "Halloween". What made that movie a classic is the fact that very little blood was actually shed during the movie. Instead, director John Carpenter created a creepy, disturbing atmosphere that made you wince whenever a charcter turned a corner or entered a dark room.
My friends, those days are gone forever. If, for some unknown reason, you decide to plunk down your hard earned sheckels and see the latest "Halloween" epic, what , you may rightly ask, will you get? Well, let's see:
1. You get to see a mother, just off a satanic delivery table and freshly bleeding, run from a reincarnated Michael Myers during the entire first fifteen minutes of the movie.......
2. You're allowed to witness character after annoying character enter darkened rooms where it is known that Michael is waiting, and yet, amazingly, none of them actually thinks of bringing any kind of weapon into the room, or better yet, not entering the damn room......
Oh, and let's not forget the always traditional:
3. The mandatory butchering of post-coital teenagers.
Yes, this is Donald Pleasence's last film; yes, he's good as the obsessed Dr. Loomis. That's not reason enough to see this movie. But don't believe me. Listen to the words of the only other guy in the movie theatre when I saw "Halloween 6". When the movie ended , he shouted at me from across the empty hall, "Man, that sucked!" Amen, brother.
Copyright 1995 John A. Lavin
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