Movie Magazine

Headbanger Movie Review

By Mad Professor Mike

Twins of Evil

UK - 1971

Hello, America!! This is Mad Prof. Mike with the Headbanger Video Capsule!! Now, vampires are supposed to be sexy... but for the most part, it's all talk and no show. In most vampire movies, crummy actors go through the motions of being seduced!... mesmerized!... transfixed!... whatever!... by a sexy vampire, but it's ultimately about as sexy as watching slides of someone else's fishing trip.

Just about the only vampire flick I can think of that really is sexy--instead of just pretending to be--is Hammer Film's 1970 classic "THE VAMPIRE LOVERS," with voluptuous Ingrid Pitt as a lesbian vampire frolicking with (and gloriously corrupting) nubile Madeline Smith in a bunch of sets the photographers of the Victoria's Secret Catalogues would kill to get hold of. To quote the great philisophe and artist, Tex Avery: "AUUUUUUWOOOOOOOGHA!!!! WOOF! WOOF!! WOOF!!"

I finally tracked down one of the sequels to "THE VAMPIRE LOVERS" called "TWINS OF EVIL." It's not as good as "THE VAMPIRE LOVERS." In fact, it's not a very good movie at all. But since when has *quality* ever affected my judgment, anyway?

"TWINS OF EVIL" is a completely "by-the-numbers" vampire movie, featuring such favorite gimmicks as a Satan Worshipping Count who sells his soul to become a vampire (the count looks like a cross between Glenn Danzig and Mike Des Barres); Peter Cushing as a puritanical, fanatic Witch Hunter; a mute servant in the Castle of Evil; angry villagers with torches; and a vampire who dissolves once he's staked.

How can you not love a movie like this? Sure, you've seen it all before, but at least you get what you pay for. Sure, "TWINS OF EVIL" doesn't have Ingrid Pitt, but it does have Mary and Madeline Collinson (Playboy's first identical twin centerfolds, who are definitely babelicious in their own right) as well as lots of shots of gorgeous women in flimsy nightgowns sylphing through the woods, and one of the best cinematic decapitations I've ever seen (it's right up there with "THE OMEN's"). Sure, it's not Politically Correct, but this movie is fun enough to bring out the Joe Bob Briggs in even the most die hard tofu-chomper.

On our headbanger scale of 1-4, "TWINS OF EVIL" gets three Headbangs.

With the Headbanger Video Capsule, I'm Mad Prof. Mike for "Movie Magazine."

© 1994 - Michael Marano - Air Date: 9/28/94

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